I have ruined my reputation.
In 9-10 grade I was the chic who was quiet, smart, did her homework, and was nice.
now in 11th grade i am know as the chic who doesn't give a crap, enh smart, sometimes does her homework, and is nice.
I feel horrible. I never meant to be like this.
I've really changed myself for people who don't really care about me.
I wanted to make friends. I wanted to be social. So I changed myself.
I am not that weird chic that everyone laughs at. Im that chic who people laugh with.
I know i should be happy that i've gone up the social chain, but to be honest, im not. I liked my old self. I was quiet, reserved, shy. That was me, me.
Now Im just somebody people want me to be. Im a robot, I've been programmed, and I walk, talk, and act what they command. They being society, fake friends, and everyone else.
It's really affected my grades.
I really want to just go back and in time and reverse this horrible change. Maybe I'll change right now. I want to stop talking to people, keep my life to myself. I don't want to butt in into people's lives. I want to be myself. Just that.
I hope I can be myself one day. I hope I can be myself without wanting to impress anyone. I don't want to impress anyone if how I'm impressing them is not me. I want to just be me.
If I impress anyone, it has to be me being me. I don't want to be anyone else.
I hate this new me.
I really do.
In 9-10 grade I was the chic who was quiet, smart, did her homework, and was nice.
now in 11th grade i am know as the chic who doesn't give a crap, enh smart, sometimes does her homework, and is nice.
I feel horrible. I never meant to be like this.
I've really changed myself for people who don't really care about me.
I wanted to make friends. I wanted to be social. So I changed myself.
I am not that weird chic that everyone laughs at. Im that chic who people laugh with.
I know i should be happy that i've gone up the social chain, but to be honest, im not. I liked my old self. I was quiet, reserved, shy. That was me, me.
Now Im just somebody people want me to be. Im a robot, I've been programmed, and I walk, talk, and act what they command. They being society, fake friends, and everyone else.
It's really affected my grades.
I really want to just go back and in time and reverse this horrible change. Maybe I'll change right now. I want to stop talking to people, keep my life to myself. I don't want to butt in into people's lives. I want to be myself. Just that.
I hope I can be myself one day. I hope I can be myself without wanting to impress anyone. I don't want to impress anyone if how I'm impressing them is not me. I want to just be me.
If I impress anyone, it has to be me being me. I don't want to be anyone else.
I hate this new me.
I really do.
